Tuesday, January 20, 2009

College, The Final Chapter.

It's amazing how this last semester fills me with dread, hope, and some other unidentifiable mixture of feelings. As I sit waiting for the last few pages of the chapter about my undergraduate college life come to a close, I sit on the verge of something new.

The view is tantalizing, sensational, and glorifying, while it is also terrifying and ominous as the day of graduation creeps nearer. This roller coaster ride has had it's share of peaks, spins, and daring drops, but it has been gratifying for all the things I have achieved and been able to survive the last few years. Who thought I would make it to the finish line this fast? Certainly not myself, but what does that matter? I'm here now, rushing ahead with my chin up and eyes open a little wider to take every last detail in.

Sitting in my Narrative Writing class, I'm struck with the funny feeling that this maybe the last time that I will be able to write in such a setting where I can be free and allowed to make any error that I wish regardless of my intent, to not be forced to develop something I do not wish to. These last few weeks I have had a dry spell in my writing, really rare, but not totally unexpected. I walk into class and suddenly hundreds of ideas come rushing at me with the speed of light. I can't wait to pick up the proverbial pen to get those last few drops of ink out before someone thrust another one into my hand. Will this new pen be something more than I could every dream? I have no clue, but until that moment comes I will enjoy the last few strokes that this beloved one still has left within it's body.

What is the future? What are we to embark upon next? Walking down the halls on campus and in the class room, so many people are talking about today's historic events. Where were you the day Obama was sworn into office? I can only reply sitting in my Accounting class, thinking of food to keep me awake. Will this be a beginning to a new era? It looks hopeful, yet is the future still clouded with decisions that have still yet to be made?

The first thing people ask when they hear you are on the doorstep of graduation, they ask what do you plan to do after graduation with your life. I have no plans yet, just a vague idea of what I wish my future to contain. I'm okay with that. I see no reason to plan out my future, is that so wrong? I have goals and I have dreams that I wish to achieve, but who doesn't? I just don't feel the pressing need to decide which path to take when I finish the one I am currently on. I figure, when I get there, I get there, when I find it, it will be there. What's the rush to grow up and move into the real world?

No comments: