Goodbye Kittens, Hello Broken Heart

Today was one of the hardest days for me. I gave up my kittens to a Cat Rescue lady. It was difficult enough to even find someone to take them. Apparently it's Kitten Season and all the shelters are full or over capacity to store them. My dad and I called over 100 places before we finally found someone willing to take them as long as we paid for the kitty shots.

So we rush to my apartment where I am literally balling my eyes out as I pack them into their little carry box. Of course they knew something was wrong and tried to get away. We make the drive out to Burbank's Petco and hand my babies over to the lady in charge. They take Kibbles and Bits out of their carrying case and already begin to debate names for them. In their new cages, Kibbles and Bits look at me as if I've betrayed them and it simply broke my heart. Standing there sobbing as I lean against their cage, some lady comes up and offers words of "comfort", saying "Don't worry we don't kill them, we keep them until they find a home." As if this is a consolation to my breaking heart. I don't think so.

Now home, I am trying to console myself by lying to myself...makes sense? I worry about my kittens and if they will be able to stay together, will they get a good home, will they find someone who will love them to pieces like they deserve? I tell myself they will, I tell myself it is for the best, and the biggest bullshit lie, that I loved them enough to let them go. I hope this is all true, but right now they all seem like selfish lies that are designed to make me feel better about this decision.

And so I come to these pondering thoughts. Why is it that when my fish died when I was young, as well as a few years ago, I didn't shed a single tear, but now that I give my kittens into the care of another, I cannot help but turn into a blubbering, heartbroken mess? I suppose it is because I felt a certain detachment from Freckles, the fish. I never cared enough maybe. With the kittens, they forced me to care, butting their way into my heart and fussing around in my heart until there was more then enough room to love them. For now, I will continue to miss them, and more then likely continue to cry, but I would like to share some of my memories with you.

Ethnography, Women, Radical Romance

Date: Friday September 19, 2008
Location: My balcony
Time: 6 pm

Groups of people walk by my apartment on a regular basis, so I figure, why not use that to my advantage. So I set up my chair and my laptop and sit back to enjoy the show. Today was a particularly interesting day.

A guy and a girl walk by holding hands, maybe in their late 20s wearing some baggy sweats. They just walk on by, not noticing the person walking the dog at the end of the leash who won’t stop barking. The couple is so engrossed in each other, they don’t notice anything going on around them.

Oh my here comes a good one. There is a girl that is walking over to a blue truck (make and model? Who cares?!?!) and starts yelling at the person within. The window rolls down as she steps next to the driver side door revealing a guy possibly in his early 20s. Something along the lines of him being a jerk and a lying bastard…of course. He doesn’t say much, in fact, he is dealing with a woman screaming at the top of her lungs in a very public place, in a pretty calm fashion. She yells at him for quite a while, never once letting him get a word in, telling him he’s all kinds of screwed up. After a while he rolls up his window, starts his car and drives away. She of course, throws her phone at his car. The phone misses the car and shatters on the pavement, at which point she starts cursing the cell phone maker, whom she is sure is of the male sex.

A guy is walking down the street and coming towards him is a girl in a really (and I mean really) low cut shirt with white pants so low that I swear I can almost see her butt crack. It is hard to say if they know each other or not, but they stop and talk…well flirt, for a little while. He pulls out his phone and most likely gets her number (there’s no way that he’s checking his text messages people). They briefly say goodbye and she walks away. As she is walking away from him, the guy turns around to check out the view.

Analysis.
Well I must say, today was rather odd. Normally I don’t have so many people arguing outside of my apartment, couples are usually like the first one I observed. They are a perfect example of the kind of relationship that most of us ideally want. A calm situation in which we are so into each other, we don’t really have a care in the world. Who knows, maybe so, maybe not. Either way, this is why the romance genre is so popular with women because they want that kind of relationship. They want to be swept off their feet and romanced like there is no tomorrow and in romance novels, they are able to experience this vicariously through the characters in the novels.

The second couple is why so many corporations stay in business. Like the diagram located in our book, the base is supported by those above it, and those above it support those below. The girl will probably go home and eat some comfort food in the form of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream while she curses the male population in general. Let us not forget that broken phone lying on the pavement. She, as a consumer will be supporting Ben and Jerry’s and the phone company, with likely another purchase due to her frustration and anger. On the discussion of high and low, privileged and not, comes the concept of high class and low class. It was once privileged to keep all your family problems inside the home, those that “aired their dirty laundry” in public were considered to be of a lower, less privileged class. Watching the girl reminded me of some elements we watched of Jerry Maguire where his first wife, played by Kelly Preston was getting mad at him when he reveals that he has changed his mind about how he is going to be a sports agent.

Lastly, the two people who met on the street. This is a demonstration of de Beauvoir’s Second Sex. The girl in the white pants is getting her roll from the male. She finds herself attractive because the guy pretty much says she is it is from this that she understands her role in society. It is not because she makes her own destiny or path, rather, she makes herself a commodity in the eyes of the male sex by dressing the way she does. You cannot dress that way and expect no one to check you out or look twice as you walk by.

Ethnography

Northridge Mall
Saturday September 20 2008

Sitting outside of the Orange Julius/ Dairy Queen around mid afternoon

A mother and her child walks in. Both appear to be of Caucasian descent wearing nice clothes. The mother is holding her sons hand as the child struggles to get away from her. He points at the coin operated rides just under the elevator but his mom refuses to let him go. She tells him because he’s been a bad boy, he won’t get an ice cream. He pouts but she doesn’t give in, buying one cone and sitting at a table where she eats the cone while her son watches.

A little girl and little boy walk in with someone who appears to be their father. The children stand in line with their father. They appear to be of Asian descent. The father does not hold their hand, nor does he scold them in line, instead the children stand there quietly as their father orders his ice cream. When he is finished paying, his children go to the napkin dispenser and grab enough napkins for each of them and their father. They sit at a table inside, setting the napkins up like a place mat and begin to eat in a meticulous fashion. As they walk out,
each cleans up their own area and throws away the trash. Walking through the entry way, the children walk several steps behind their father who doesn’t hold their hand or keep looking over his should to check if they are there, rather it is like he knows they will always be trailing after him.

A mother and her daughter walk in to the store holding hands. They patiently wait in line to have their order taken. The daughter looks up at her mom and asks if she can have certain toppings. Her mother replies that her daughter will get whatever she orders for her. The daughter appears to be sad but doesn’t comment back to her mother. When it is time to order the daughter stands there hiding her face from her mother when she orders a cone with no chocolate dip but nuts for toppings. When
the mother hands the cone to her daughter, she accepts without a complaint. While walking out of the store, both mother and daughter eat their cones.


Watching the interactions between the children and their parents was interesting because it presented a dystopian element. The dystopian element is that several of the children accepted what their parents said to them, accepting that it is the law; however, the first child noted, tried to rebel against his mother and had to face the consequences of his actions. Furthermore, while the last little girl did not rebel in the sense of making a scene, she did have a hidden show of displeasure
towards her mother.

As a child, your parents word is the law, there is no deviation from it without clear consequences that will be devastating to a child. It is a law that has been programmed in them, literally since birth, and one they know they must follow, similar to Orwell’s dystopia. LikeWinston in 1984 by Orwell, if a child goes against the law, they are broken down until they can then be rebuilt to know the right side of the law. Their law is a law that we don’t question because we don’t know any better because that is what we have been taught all of our lives is the right
law. We learn from our parents what is right because we don’t want to be punished, to have our Gameboys or our Wiis taken away. Once we realize that there is a consequence to our sever misbehavior, we immediately rectify the situation so we no longer have these privileges taken away.

While these conditions may create a utopia for the parents, could it be considered a dystopia for the children? I suggest this because the children are not able to follow their instincts or natural wants for fear of getting into trouble...or at least in most cases.

Cat On a Hot Tin Roof

So we just presented. I must say that it was one of the most laid back and easy going presentation I have had in a while. My classmates definitely helped make the presentation the best it could be. Their willingness to participate and add their opinions really makes this class more enjoyable.

For this presentation I researched our library database for an article that stood out by bringing up a topic that had yet to be discussed and did not focus on the ambiguity of Bricks sexuality. While it is an intriguing aspect of the play, I feel, like the author of the supplemental reading, that it is really only one part of a complex play. There is so much that Tennessee Williams packs into this play, that there is really a lot of material to cover. So the fact that this article presents so many topics was the deciding factor in picking it.

I personally can identify the idea of being sad about death of innocence and childhood. It is something we all face at some point or another. For instance, in Jack and Kate Plus 8's episode last night, the family took a trip to Disney World. In one of the sit down portions, Kate said that she like going to Disney World because something about it made her embrace her childhood again. But once again, this idea of never growing up and embracing our childhood for a little bit longer is something we face, maybe even for just an instance in our life.

Brick's refusal to embrace his adulthood, as pointed out in the article is something that most teens face upon entering high school, sometimes even college because we gain more responsibility. We loose the possibility (in general of course) that our parents stop taking care of us, babying us, and feeling sympathy over the smallest things. As we are on the precipice of entering the "Real World" we, like Brick, become overwhelmed with the reality of the harsh world. As we venture farther and farther into the world and each year passes, we become more aware of our own age and thus our own morality.


please tell me, I did not talk about Jerry Springer like I watch it every day. =[ I really don't.

1984

As we prepared for yesterday's presentation, I kept finding myself making obscure connections in my head. Hate Week reminded me of this and that. My particular favorite reference was Disneyland's Small World ride. Don't ask me how or why. I doubt I could make an understandable argument at the moment, funny yes, intelligent, possibly not.

So when we first got into our groups I knew right away that I wanted to help with the academic journal article because I could keep my ramblings to a minimum. SO i set off that night in search of an article that I would be able to tie into the class. I managed to stumble upon Robert Paul Resch's "Utopia, Dystopia, and the Middle Class in George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four" on J-Stor. One thing that really drew me to the article was the focus on Utopia and Dystopia, but the authors use of charts really help visualize what he was talking about.

Within our actual presentation I did not have that much to contribute because of the article issues. You know the funny thing about it is that I was seriously technologically clueless and semi-lazy to actually figure out the best place. It provided a decent laugh and an indulgence in some triple chocolate ice cream to realize that the whole situation was in a way ironic for me.

I hoped everyone enjoyed the presentation and the article, though I realize it was a tad long. I personally am looking forward to participating and viewing other groups presentations. =]

Solitary Confinment.

Thats right. The kittens have been locked up for the night for being bad. I love those guys so much that my latest decision really sucks ass.

I made up my mind that i have to give them up. =[ I know. Major sadness time. It sucks too, cuz I'll be sitting at work missing them and wondering what they are up to. What am i going to do when they are gone?? I dont know. I already miss them. Hell I miss them when I know I'm just an hour or two away from coming home to them...What's it going to be like when they aren't even here to come home to? Unbearable.

It's days like this where I just want to cuddle up in bed with a nice good book and some chocolate chip ice cream. Alas I have neither. Instead, I have a 7-10 minute play to write, 3 books to finish and several projects to finish up. So the cuddling, reading and ice cream must wait another day.

So bring on the massive amounts of homework that I'm finally able to get done because the boys are locked up for the night.

ps...good tv shows need to come back on to help distract me from the madness.

Media and the Justification of Genocides

Amen to the idea that groups of people can take their religion to far and use it to justify mass genocides, wars, and such. Throughout our education we have learned about groups of people (radicals if you will or sometimes those in political power) that have taken their their religious and/or political views and used them as a means to justify their violent actions towards others. The Crusades and our own nation's Manifest Destiny are just quick examples.

It is rather fitting that we are talking about this when 9/11 is this Thursday. The people that bombed the Trade Center were terrorists that used their extreme views of religion to rationalize their actions. It is unfortunate that such an even happened, to be sure, but as the anniversary comes upon us, we must remind ourselves that not everyone is an extremist.

In times of extreme crisis, such as what we faced in the following hours and days, it serves the media, the vengeful citizens, as well as the war hungry politicians to portray a whole group of people as blood thirsty terrorists. These images degrade the people that practice the religion as a whole instead of those that take their religious views and push them to their ultimate extreme. The media, the images, and the interpretations we make as humans do a great disservice. That is not to put down the pain and suffering of those families or citizens of our nation and others. Instead, I merely suggest that instead of pointing fingers at a group without thinking, we should instead view media with suspicion as to whom the images serve and what it means to those whom are portrayed.

As in the clip we saw of the masses watching the video screen in 1984, our own media tries to stir up mass feelings of resentment or sympathy by their modified and often limited portrayal of certain events. In some cases, once again, to site 9/11, the repeat image of the second plane being flown into the tower trigger feelings of sadness and anger.

One such time we can look back on as well, is Katrina. Please take a look at this picture and give the captions a close inspection.

Faeries, Bo Peep, and Kats

Oh man, this has been a long week. I went to Chicago for a few days. Nothing like getting out of town and visiting some friends. Luck however was not on my side...some of you may laugh and i would be right there with you if it wasn't me, but the trip started off with me falling off the train. Yep. Not a good start. A few other bumps along the way, which was rather unfortunate.


But we ended up going to the Renn Faire in Bristol. There were a few interesting things there. This Faerie for one. It's interesting, last year, this faerie was there along with a blue one. The blue seemed to repel everyone, not just because of the coldness of her color but also the way she acted towards everyone. But the Autumn faerie seems to attract people to her, because of her warm colors or even warmer personality? I think it was both. Sitting there watching her interact with children for the past two years makes it clear that some people have it, when others just don't. Either you are a warm person or a cold one, what determines which you will be depends on how you carry yourself and interact with others.

Then we get to Bo Peep and her Sheep...curious? I'd say so. We were at the faire for maybe 5 minutes before we spotted a group of teens dressed up in interesting outfits. How the boys allowed these girls to convince them it was the cool thing to do is still up in the air. Clearly Ms. Bo Peep-ie. miss pink- was the ring leader. The funny thing was they couldn't really understand why people were looking at them weird or making fun of them...Now people, some faire go-ers dress up like Pirates with real parrots, Demons, Wenches, Peasants, and other assortments, but these people understand depending on their costumes, they are likely to get stares or asked to have their picture taken. Apparently not the case, though some people were a little harsh, it's like, what do you expect when you leave the house with out looking in the mirror and go to the wrong type of gathering?? I guess that's what you get sometimes, at least it's free entertainment.


Anyways, I got cats!!!! The one on the left is Kibbles and the one on the Right is Bits. Mind you that is what I'm calling them for now. As much as I like the names, I keep getting laughed at...but I don't care. They both have separate personalities but they are hilarious! They keep tackling each other and pouncing. However, some of their personality traits are not so amusing.

On an off handed note, I've never realized how many people are allergic to cats. Don't worry, if you have cat allergies, I'm stocking up on Benadrill!! I just had to share the excitement!!! yipee!!! Anyways, time to get down to business and do homework =[

Pop Culture and Stereotypes

In everyday culture we encounter stereotypes and living binaries that shape our views, values, and our actual culture. The interesting thing about studying popular culture is being able to look at and analyze aspects of media in different forms and how they affect us.

In the clips from “Fatal Attraction” we are shown two completely different women. As talked about in class, Glen Close is the scorned lover who is looked down upon by the audience. Why is that? It’s because it is engraved in our mind what is right and what is wrong, who is good and who is bad, but why? It’s something our society does so well, needing to point the finger to place blame someone. Instead of blaming the cheating husband, he merely gets a slap on the wrist in this movie. Due to an unspoken code between women, the possibility that the husband lied about his marital status or whatever other excuse can be made on his behalf is not a major concern. Instead, it is the lover who has wronged the betrayed wife. Instead of taking a different view, “Fatal Attraction” appeals to the masses, in that it presents a view that most women in the United States would agree with, blaming the misdeeds of the husband on the lover.

Another interesting thing that came up in class was the idea in “Ancherman” that the female lead waited to show her approval until others demonstrated that they agreed. It is an idea that has become a popular strategy for ad campaigns. For example the slogan “Hey Mikey likes it!” implies that hey, if he likes it, you have to like it too. This now popular advertising trend has lead society to eat Wheaties, smoke cigarettes, etc. This will only continue as long as we allow it; unfortunately however, it does not look like the advertising companies will give up such a successful approach.

Binaries and Exiled

The last few class periods have raised some interesting topics that all are important in their own right. Dystopia as a category for the world’s ills brings several of the problems politicians try to “sweep under the rug”.

In the clip from “Sleeper”, it suggested a bleak future to come. A future in which the characters portrayed represents the well off and their tunnel vision that alters their perceptions of issues that the public faces. The clip instantly reminded me of a show that previewed on MTV recently called “Exiled”. The show is a spinoff of their popular “Super Sweet Sixteen” show in which they take these privileged sweet sixteeners out of their privileged lives and place them into real life situations, typically to places that are remote from the rest of civilization. Before the young sweet sixteeners were forced to face the reality of some of the more remote cultures, they had no idea of what was going on in the real world. Much like the teens, the main character in “Sleeper” could not understand what the less fortunate had to complain about life because she had all the amenities there were to enjoy, such as the orgasmatron.

In yesterday’s class period, I was suddenly reminded of how the distinction of black and white came into play during US history. This binary became more prominent when the white settlers had to justify their enslavement of a group of people, whom by their religion were equal in the eyes of God. It was this need for reasoning that created the meaning behind the view of African American slaves as a lesser people. It isn’t until we, as the human race, choose to assign meaning that binaries form their importance